“Flag up” photo by RICKY FLORES, The Journal News (New York)

(Seasonal lights I stole from OWC)

Tell funnier jokes

It’s what the aliens tell the Woody Allen character in Stardust Memories. ... I think that’s about the extent of my philosophical insights. ... As the beloved LOL related, Bob Hope was with the marines on some Pacific hell hole, and a marine for one reason or another had failed to encounter the enemy, which he really desired to do. So he cries out “Hirohito stinks!” ... Whereupon the enemy steps forward and shouts back “Roosevelt stinks!” ... The Marine is stymied, complaining “I can’t kill a fellow Republican!” ... This is supposed to have sent the saintly FDR into paroxysms of mirth at some big todo....

The Non-fizzy Publix

... I will begin the whining with the tragic absence of Lifeway Cappuccino Kefir. Sure, there are scammy offers on the web — i.e. $hipping more than product — but since the Florida Publix supermarkets cruelly exiled them for reasons unknown to man nor kefir, there’s been no sightings on the ground. Variously lesser groceries will provide the average fruit/plain flavors, but no cappuccino, which is bound-up so poignantly with my personal Florida history. ... Why, it was encountering the stuff at a Tampa Publix a decade or more ago when first I thought I might like living here!

... And then, so sad, a year or two passed, and many of the fruit Lifeway Keffirs I was still buying anyway were defective. Finally, after I switched from the supermarket with the best selection after at least half of their keffirs exploded and the others were excitingly fizzy, another supermarket’s Lifeways didn’t explode — yet — but were definitely unacceptable fizzy. ... And so I asked the oracle, googling “rotten lifeway keffir” and got at least one pilgrim at Lifeway’s facebook page with precisely my complaint — but the clincher was, the Lifeway spokesthing was trying to sell the line that Keffir is naturally that way. The lady wasn’t having any, and I don’t need a Facebook page — thank Heavens — to agree. ... I’m afraid it’s the old old story, too much success, too much fun, too many unrefrigerated trucks in too many sunny parking lots. ... The silver lining is, I’ve never gotten a rotten dairy or other product from Publix — which is certainly not true of past supermarket experiences, and probably explains what was going on, in a kind of perversely-noble reassuring way: my beloved Cappuccino Keffir didn’t meet Publix’s standards. ... Story of my life....

This website is defiantly composed entirely in comic sans because it’s so cute. ... Except for the pitiful iThing multitudes, who’ll just have to put up with sans or Times Roman or whatever the hermetic wizards of iThingyness decree for the moon phase.

The clamoring public may submit abuse & complaints to owenlabs@aol.com

... welcome to the most secret place on the web ... the bermuda-triangle of html ... my personal web page ...

the j.g. owen web site

Ah, the years pass, don’t they? ... But still, this remains! ... For more than a decade! ... Nothing compared to The Cernettes who appeared with some of the less complicated particles when the web was young and I only slightly senile....

So behold! and look upon my resumé ye mighty and despair ... and I hope your browser renders the word “resume?”, as one of my machines does, when it feels like it — so chic ’n’ wacky! ... Well I finally got terminally bored and set the form to the lovely and gracious “Windows 1252” character-encoding; apparently otherwise the browser guesses to the best of its ability and whim (?). ... Or then again, why not check out the puerile pretensions of my pointlessly-fashionable bloggery. ... Or ...

repligator/ulead imageWhatever happened to those beloved rants?

Some time in the Clinton administration, I moved my whining about various gadgets and technical issues to the rant pages, with such exciting issues as The New Yorker & the iPad. ... Then there is my softer aesthetic side, so distinct from the concrete-like computer-science realism of the rest of the site, my heart-rending mp3 music, notes / endless discussion thereof and so much more! ... And be sure not to miss my Odyssey of the Home Electronic Organ, The Saga of the Nord Imperium. ... Or check out the Hammond Chord Organ story with a lovely picture....

And here’s a search button, which you can try using to search my site if the incredible laser-like organization somehow fails:

One Voice & Global Climate Change

I’d forgotten about this MP3 until it turned-up on my ancient Apple shuffle. ... It’s a truly creepy global-warming PSA which I expect “Environmental Defense” might prefer to forget, but not me, here on the eternal golden memories attic web site! ... The shuffle played it after a Bill Monroe rendition of The Old Crossroads, and it was followed by the giant thundering chorus of Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana. ... Startling religious sentiments from a music robot....

Global Warming?

And incidentally, why’d they change the name from “Global Warming” to “Climate Change”? Huh?!???

"sold" signThe Kredit Krisis Krunch Katastrophe Krisis Ce Finé!!

Yup, it’s over! ... Right around the corner! ... On our morning keep-fit so we don’t-face-the-death-panels walk!

... Now at last, we can return to our perennial favorite: the Swine Flue Krisis Katastrophe Plague!!!

... And then again, the Global Warming Crisis Catastrophe — however did it become the Global Climate Change Crisis Catastrophe? ... Why do you suppose that happened?

Kompozer, the (often) working WYSIWYG HTML editor!

I don’t mean your junky raw-HTML syntax-coloring tripe (although it has that, and so much more!). ... I mean a real hasn’t-crashed in-minutes-of-testing actual editor for human beings! For me! ... For Free Free Free! ... It’s open source, and it seems to work. ... Several times! Ad astra! ... Well there are a few rough spots, but it’s still better than numerous others I’ve tried, which cost money!...

It started at nvu.com, but an enterprising interloper created Kompozer (http://kompozer.net/) which he referred to as “Nvu’s unofficial bug-fix release” — and was the NVU guy frosted! ... Even ’though he admited he abandoned the project, and was moving on to a bigger and better open-source HTML editor any year now. ... Although he did provide a link, so I guess all’s well that ends well....

Anyway the Kompozer guy planned to take us upwards and onwards, and the product seems to install and seems to work! ... Go, Kompozer, go! ... Tuesday, May 19, 2009 1:23 pm: And look, they’re updating the thing over there; it’s up to version 7.10! And an “alpha” version 8!... Wednesday, March 24, 2010. 0.8b3 or so. ... Tuesday, June 8, 2010. Well really that was one was a little too beta; for now I’m sticking with the sometimes-broken but not often actively malevolent 7.10. ... Friday, July 27, 2012. His web site has gotten cuter, I think, but activity appears to be over; still at 0.8b3. ... But back in the day, I gave him some dough anyway! And after all, I’m typing this in the cranky but works-frequently 7.10....

Breaks Stuff

I should note — so I’ll remember at least — that you should never copy a block from one Kompozer window to another — it is much too malevolent. ... I have a handy batch file disruptiveChrome.bat which I use to find its schizophrenic screams, which contains

findj “disruptive-innovations|chrome” *.htm

and after I foolishly moved a few blocks one dangerous day, that produced 2 or three screens worth of garbage! ... So in the future I plan to go through the files with Kompozer, and mark the section locations with an easily noticeable thing like a line of hyphens, and then use a regular ASCII text editor — perhaps even a working if less-talented html editor — to move them....

My Neighbor Boy is Stranger Than Yours

This object startled me a bit as I was taking out the garbage. ... Life is wonderful, no?

The peace that passeth understanding — in this case, a motel in the morning in St. Augustine I think. ... The wandering years revealed recently it was Tampa....

And here is a parental unit long ago and far away. ... That’s both of them in front of the Volkswagen bus, with an old friend; her husband took the picture, which is one of those 3D things....

... And through the miracle of cousin-discovery, the other unit as a beautiful young woman, so many endless eons ago....

click for a nice w98 desktop flag from Tiger Technologies

Terrorist moron sets himself on fire burning the flag (Washington Times).

Pablo Picasso. Les Demoiselles d’Avignon. 1907. Oil on canvas, 8’ x 7’8’’ (243.9 x 233.7 cm). MoMA.

what we’re
fighting for

a cute meter

The Amazing RoboHelp
The Amazing RoboHelp Pop-Up demo CD (windows media video)

Owen’s Rules

1. There are no technical problems, only personnel problems.
2. If it isn’t tested, it’s broken.
3. Include hardware reset in the software interface.

Another item that has puzzled humanity for so many years can best be expressed as a question: Do all stupid programs inevitably dial the internet? Research is ongoing....

And here’s a thought: Features are hardest to fix.

... Finally, an old T-shirt sentiment, as true today as when I first saw it:

E = mc2 ...
It’s Not Just a Good Idea,

Tuesday 5/26/15 8:48 pm

broken dreamhost counter: ... “I’m afraid ... the counter we provide on counter.dreamhost.com hasn’t been updated since around 2007, so it may not work correctly” — dreamhost “customer service”; this after first trying a few fraudulent blame-the-customer excuses

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