Gay Marriage: The Constitutional Non-Crisis

Tue 6/30/15. Whenever congress or, heaven forfend, a whimpering state official defies the Supreme Soviet, it’s a constitutional crisis. Whenever the Supreme Soviet institutes brave new heroic legislation beloved of all decent peoples throughout the known universe — it’s just Friday....

The sacred homosexual sacrament was instituted late Friday 6/26/15 (?), I assume to avoid the news cycle. I’ve been deeply anguished since then: for the end of American democracy. ... But judging by the latest Limbaugh daily email, I needn’t’ve. ... He helpfully points-out that Republicans can’t win without the social conservatives, and that when Republicans say “it’s the law of the land” they mean, it’s OK, and they don’t mind — but didn’t note that the same applies to him.

It seems at last I am the old fart who just doesn’t get it (wild applause, cheering). ... I’m out in the boonies, disconnected from all the important currents of our time, where tyrannical legislative change by fiat is normal, it’s good, just so long as all the “with-it” insiders are onboard. Which presumably includes respectable-at-last Limbaugh, who presumably attends and celebrates gay weddings, just like all the other movers and shakers.

And doubtless this is the way it’s always been, silly anguished me. Elections are just the opinion polls / blow-off-steam exercises the elites tolerate for us peasants. I.e., me and the crazed Christian snake handlers. ... The tyrannical gay marriage decision makes things so much easier — no muss, no fuss, none of that nasty politics.

And indeed the political ramifications are not necessarily good for Democrats. But since Republicans and Democrats agree on everything except perhaps the amount of radical social change that should be illegally forced on the society — quelle différence?

My political newsletter, the Limbaugh email, didn’t try and rile-up the troops. His normal business plan — like all the media — is to shout about the bad things, get us poor backwoods deep thinkers anguished about stuff, so we’ll listen faithfully to the show — which is why I don’t. ... And the Limbaugh email has been useful, comforting — to know that everything’s OK, and even the Apostle of Conservatism is copacetic with the obvious Supreme Soviet power grab. So we happy geezers can just continue with our jolly plans and hope to die quietly, or at least suddenly. ... So nice to know those nasty noisy elections don’t mean anything....

And I really don’t have much against the gay sacrament either; except for its not-so-secret political agenda, the destruction of western civilization and religion. Not that I’ve got much of those. ... But I will miss ’em; and also my cherished delusion that the unwashed mob actually decides America’s destiny; and the rule of law. ... And the liberaltariet used to make such fun of Sukarno’s guided democracy....

And now ... The Comedy of ... Tyranny ... (wild applause, cheering)

Then again, laughter is the best medicine after the tyrant steps on your neck! ... And perhaps I have not attained the proper hushed respect for the virgin birth of gay marriage: it is after all nothing less than an atheist miracle, our tawdry despicable slavery-ridden constitution somehow, by the vision of brilliant supreme soviet super-justices, revealing the hidden texts of a gay marriage entitlement! ... Unlike other miraculous beliefs of the lunatic fringe, the court didn’t even call on Science The Holy for the revelation, like the comparatively boring Global Whatever-it-is-this-Week. ... No; the miracle was just there; if we only had eyes to see ... somewhere behind the constitutional couch....

But I too have sacred visions: a reality TV show celebrating the miraculous discovery. One of the holy justices will be the kindly old savant; the no-voters will be depicted like the Jews in the new testament, hateful spiteful types. But the Holy Unelected Majority will be seized by the magic prophecy and know Truth. ... Katy Perry will sing. ... I am breathless with anticipation....

Breaking ... Breaking ...

This just in: apparently the revered Mugabe, tyrant of what’s left of Rhodesia, says he plans to travel to Washington to ask for Obama’s hand in marriage! ... This is how we are honored and celebrated by the wackos and fools of the world, me ’n’ Mugabe. ... I suppose I’ve finally found my level. ... The only wonderment remaining is will there be, perhaps, a new revelation, discovering that the Holy Constitution bans mockery of judicial visions, no matter how silly? ... I won’t be holding my breath; hurtful speech is already a hot button among our all-powerful lunatic fringe....

... It also seems that Mormonism has officially lost its place as America’s silliest religion — not that there’s anything wrong with that....

The Will of the Pipul

But the communist Obama was elected twice! He’s undoubtedly the most obviously liberal president in US history, and he got to appoint some supreme soviet commissars. So it is democratic. Not “lawful”, but the supreme soviet’s been making-up laws my entire life. So we have a government of men, and a silly one. But Justice Kennedy was appointed by Ronald Reagan! So everybody agrees when he said “No longer may this liberty be denied”. ... Right; ’cause we kidnapped all the gays from the wharves and dives of Europe and enslaved them in our advertising agencies.

The Rule of Law

I was taught as a lisping communist in Neuva York that the Rule of Law was Sacred. Today, as a result of the liberal commedia, I finally realize, to my considerable surprise, that I am above the law. ... Actually, everyone is above the law. ... Amoeba are above the law. ... Like all government excrescences, the law is an embarrassing broken bureaucratic nightmare of mediocre useless ideas of the ages + the current state of government bribery.

My anguish at ridiculous legal decisions like the visitation of the gay sacrament is undoubtedly due to my childhood brainwashing at the great knee of communism, the public schools of NYC and of course my beloved wacko progressive parents. In those golden-hued days of my youth, the “rule of law” was holy scripture just as revelatory as Justice Kennedy’s miraculous vision. Because that was the party line that week. ... This week, democrat séances are in fashion, and the rule of law is out back in the recycling bin. ... I.e., in every age, confound the conservatives and their knavish tricks, tell any story that’ll gull the rabble. But they’re all just communist fairy tales; the true hermetic sacred revelation is “any lie, anyway, any means justifies the Holy Socialist Dawn”, coming along any millennium now....

Conservatism

So as I drifted to the right over the years, in the typical graying of communist youth, and I held on to the sacred rule of law; as did many of my “second-thoughter” once-liberal neo-conservative cohort — pitifully believing that the commies would be awed by its invocation, because they used to swear by it. So the great political struggles of my life are really a lying contest, and the holy progressive forces drifted to new lies, vague hand-waving things about “fairness”, while the conservatives got to hold on to the hand-me-down timeworn lies the progressives used to use. ... Standard communist history — i.e., history — portrays the historical tories as no friends to statute, and the grand progressive forces as relentless sticklers. ... I of course will believe this implicitly, as I have learned to trust all communist revelation....

The Holy Scientific Empire

I guess my despicable attitude makes me a disestablishmentarian. I am against the established church of the United States. And every decent liberal is an establishmentarian, and loves Holy Science and all Its Words which, now, include Revelation....