Midterms 2018

Mon 11/5/18 9:21 am. In our last installment, the glorious girl president took her place on the world stage to wild international acclaim. Of course this didn’t actually happen although I was sure it would, but its non-existence has apparently driven the super-high-minded democrats to furious insanity.

So at last, this time, the famous blue wave will take over congress, impeach Trump and the Kavanaugh supreme court girl-molester, and put all the Republicans in kindly caring re-education camps. ... Every time I hear such awful fantasies there is pain in my heart. ... But I still look at the NYTimes web page in the mornings, just to dutifully keep up with the day’s fake news and vicious lies....

So on to my utterly certain phony-poll-certified precision predictions: Florida’s Broward county — home of the no-show Broward Cowards in the fabulous affirmative action school shooting incident — will go Republican. The Party of Slavery will loose numerous seats in the federal house & senate. ... This could possibly hurt the feelings of many democrats, although I assume they are living through the thousand deaths already as the glorious beloved alien caravan fades into the mists — Sunday’s 11/5/18 NYTimes front page has not a caravan in sight! ... Which, just a few days before, was the total presidency-destroying crisis-du-jour of the eviiil Trump Nazi Dictatorship....

I probably won’t be back here for the Trump re-election. ... I will tend to my garden ... my silly cameras and rhythm machines....

11/7/18. And once again, phony precision predictions failed! ... But this time, they were mine! Why don’t my lies work? They kind-of worked for the democrats!?!?!? — except they lost in the senate big time.

... After a short bitter spate of denial, I settled into a comforting bargain: I mean, after all, those feckless RINOs in the house deserved defeat, as they churned their way to nothingness. ... Heaven knows, I didn’t give any money to the republican committees: they’d’ve just passed it on to McCain, one of the great RINOs — even after he was dead. ... So, doubtless like many other crazed fanatics across the fruited plain, I saved it all for Trump. ... And we shall see how the Great Fascist manages a democrat house. ... And how the seemingly super-human El Presidente runs against the democrat house, who must infalliably, as per their sacred campaign promises, reinstate every jot & tittle of obama☭are, open the borders wide for the belovéd-by-communists illegal aliens/criminals/terrorists, as well as impeach every last republican. ... Could be fun....

11/23/18. And all-but-inevitably Trump will dominate both houses of Congress when his 2nd term landslide rolls around ... or least so my new phony precision poll reveals. The midterms were sadly amenable to communi$t perfidy — voters weren’t interested, half didn’t care who the rep was, there were swarms of candidates, and the obvious discrepancies between the good-old-boy pretensions on the campaign trail and the communist speeches to liberal-elite financiers just couldn’t be highlighted vividly. ... The communist conspiracy’d be smart not to run anyone against Trump’s 2nd term, but just like 2016 they’ll get some wonderfully compassionate hate-Amerika moron/lunatic, who’ll be a lightning rod for truth & fiction contrasts. And Trump’ll swamp ’em!