Silly Cameras VII

1/16/21. The grand endless trek continues, pitifully challenged by global-whatever-it-is-this-week “polar vortex” with bitter 50° temperatures in its Holy Science wake, as I shuffle into the age of covid and arson/riot elections responsible kill-trump kindly “we don’t got hate here” except for fascist republican scum.

... But the cameras are still silly! And there is a connection between today’s inspiring politics and the exciting ethical standards of the beloved camera industry — but I will fondle my silly cameras in sacred peace & contemplation anyway, probably arousing the covid stasi....


DSLR  Silly cameras I II III IV V  VI  VII     Fujifilm A201    Canon A430    Fujifilm S5100     Nikon CP5000     Canon A550     Canon A570    Broken Canon A530  



1/24/21. The 8/01 2mp Fujifilm A201 is a tiny perfectly-formed stupid media camera of yore. And it was a lousy list $250 in a 10/02 PC Magazine, so I can't even indulge in my usual bargain gloatathon. ... Altho to be sure it was only $18.70 @ ebay, and takes OK pix. And it came with lovely pix from the ebay seller of out-of-focus close-ups of odd bits of jewelry, so I guess it didn't work for that. ... I hope she knew about the close-up switch on the front of the camera; I know I never did in the days of my beloved casios....

But it's cute as a button. As to be sure are most of the silly cameras, whatever their mundane defects in what we call the real world if you will pardon the expression....

In other news, these cranky days saw one of my innocent silly cameras deteriorate — something not seen so often in the laboratories, in the seemingly immortal if silly herd of obsolete digital cameras: a tiny bit of the battery door of my beloved a1000 fell off, with a resonant clang to my attuned hearing. ... I've had battery doors fall-off, of my beloved Kodak in infant mediocrity, and my actual real software engineer L22, after I retrieved it from obsolence in the glorious beginnings of the silly camera campaign — but that's a Nikon — the A1000 is a Canon for goodness sake! ... I don't recall dropping it, which is no doubt how the fault began, but a few days ago it presented a pointy surface in my pocket and a bit of the battery door did indeed come off. Sic transit etc....

Back at the fujilfilm corral, I must happily report the A201 was supplied with its own proprietary-as-all-get-out USB cable, to go with the fraudulent stupid media, so all in all it is a wonderful evocation of a golden era. But the seller, oddly, included stupid media film, so it's still a breathtaking bargain....

2/26/21. A precious 2/06 Canon 4mp Canon A430 is approximately NOS, coming in its original box with the documentation still in the ur-plastic envelope, although still including an obvious add-on camera case, no doubt bogus trickery back in the day so no one will ever pay the advertised bargain price....

So my first hurdle was figuring-out how the zoom zoomed! ... Well actually before that I had to install a new CR1220 clock battery so it wouldn't keep whimpering at every power-on ... and then I guessed the zoom was the up-down arrows — couldn't find it in the manual! ... And then I went to buy some more CR1220 batteries....

And actually the zoomed shot wasn't so good, and the others were darkish. ... And by 2006, PC Magazine observed price omerta, but they claimed the a430 was "inexpensive" so I can't snoot even about that. ... But the new box & appurtenances are lovely, and the camera is cute — and what else is there?

2/27/21. A second camera from ebay what arrived on the same day as the a430 is a beautiful very camera-looking 1/05 4mp Fujifilm S5100 10x zoom what PC Mag claimed was $360 "street". ... And it takes pretty good pix. Even with its super special XD Picture Card  — oddly, supplied with the camera, the second time this's happened! 

... It's really fraudulent to sell such cameras without noting scammy not-so-available film, but I've borne-up under the injustice because I of course knew before purchase. And presumably hardly anybody would buy one of these things thinking to get a bargain, although perhaps someone so ignorant that they don't know how to make their phone work might be gulled. ... But no, in these days the silly camera purchasers must be composed of those of unbalance tendencies such as myself.

... But sadly, the time has come when there are too many silly cameras, and I had to achingly consider how to carve-out another shelf from the existing cornucopia of all kinds of dubious junk that I treasure. So I made a terrible compromise, and I will de-access selected silly cameras by storing them in plastic drawers in the dark — boring silly cameras with scammy proprietary (of course) chargers which I couldn't pick-up and use without an agonizing charging cycle delay anyway. ... Some of the proprietary-charge cameras are amusing-enough so I will keep them upon glorious display, such as the coolpix 990 with its rotating head — which, on inspection, hasn't got the nasty proprietary battery but perfectly decent AAs which I could replace in a trice at any moment and take pictures with abandon — if the silly thing weren't too much trouble, 'cause of the weird rotation. ... And then I put-away an S4000 and got to entomb it in its own original product box, which was strangely gratifying...

But never mind ... it's all so beautiful ... and silly....

3/11/21. Desperate and pitifully I seized a 1/02 5mp Nikon Coolpix 5000 which, while using a proprietary battery, does at least have a viewfinder and real-camera looks. Because of lifelong ineptitude it didn't come with a battery, something I'm pretty sure was disclaimed right there on ebay, although perhaps not shouted-out, or at least loud-enough for my addled perceptions.  So I purchased a $15 charger/battery from the lost accessories amazon emporium for $15. And when I got it, I had to snip off some little plastic protuberances from in the charger cradle with a diagonal cutter, so the batteries'd fit. But this is ancient history for the intrepid silly camera fan, although it's usually sticking toothpicks in to make the charging battery stay-put. ... And then I noticed the supplied charger — i.e. for the not-included battery — was third-party also. What a tangled web and all....

Along the weary way, I discovered that usux™'s search "bing" knows not the dark corners of internet as well as google, when some criminal cretinous page set-off a giant shouting alarm with flashing lights and stupid frenzy what I had to quell with control-alt-delete & task manager. ... So I have learned so many things. 

The CP5000 was "$1099 (street price)", or so says this contemporary silly article, so that's wonderful. ... The actual pictures are disappointing but this was such an advanced camera I should read the manual. ... Which didn't seem to help much. More relevant, perhaps, were my exciting experience with the annoying Nikon D80 — perhaps the 5000 is also an enthusiast camera where the boring automatic stuff is broken....

&/or the too dark pix might have been the state of the art in those dark days, so the pitiful Macintoshers wouldn't whimper about washed-out photos from their fancy camera set to "auto". ... There's an exposure compensation button which works when I hold the controls hard enough, which reluctance is just electronic antiquity, and might be deoxit-able; but what's really old is how the setting disappears with the power cycle....

A final indignity was the genuine Nikon brand 8MB!! CF card what the seller graciously included — 3 or four pix, max! ... Just a sampler of course, and quickly remedied after a glance in the silly drawer....

4/1/21. Commemorating the sacred day, I took a precious 1/07 7mp Canon A550 into the fold, executing the completion of the A--- series, which includes my first impressive scam-broken Willoughby's A540. ... And thus the circle is completed at last, with thundering resonance & whimpering. & the ebay vendor's mere $18.99 is a bargain compared to Amazon's $35. 

4/10/21. The 10/07 7mp Canon A570 is the latest in my A5?? scam-broken Willoughby's A540 assemblage, thus solemnly almost completing wasted decades of silly cameradom — a510, a520, my glorious $200 2006 willoughby's broken a540, a550, a560, this a570, a580, and a590. — still uncollected is the Canon a530, so the sequence is still imperfect ... but not for long!

... Momentarily I was confused by my "A515", but that's a pitiful polaroid, perhaps attempting to insinuate itself into a canon sequence but still, now I'm concerned I'm completion-ing the times 10 A5?? sequence. ... And then in my studied ignorance I happened upon the astonishing wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canon_PowerShot_A, where all the a-prefix cameras are listed in ridiculous abundance, so I will never suffer from completionitis — although of course I have many of the cameras in their monstrous chart ... but probably not even a majority....


4/17/21. My $9.75 2/06 5mp Canon A530 came broken. It lit-up nice, but it will write no SD card in my time, apparently. ... Or perhaps some dark and stormy night I will abuse it adequately some more and bring it to glorious life. ... But in a way, a broken camera is appropriate for the completion of the Canon A5?? sequence, starting as it did in timeless memory (aka 2/06) with my brand-new broken A540....

But for now, I guess I'll inter the pitiful thing in the broken camera box, with so many other fallen innocéntes. ... &, pitifully, I bought another ebay special, but this one a high-quality $11.31, and there's a picture of the camera displaying a picture! ,,, Bound to work great....

4/23/21. The second broken A530 arrived! ... I deluded myself that the first one could've been vendor error, although it probably wasn't, but this one was obviously a scam — the LCD image on the back was gershtunk along with the apparently inevitable "card error" — so I petitioned ebay, who provided me with a teeny tiny totally-illegible PDF return label, and the process for printing it exited in less than 30 seconds so I couldn't even try and beat it up. ... So I disputed the charge. My guess is the scammy vendor somehow figured-out how to break the return software — but of course it could be ebay tidying-up their profit picture. ... The world of silly cameras has its brutal side....